“I’m Pregnant....” 

I have always wanted to say these words. Just not when I was 20.

My boyfriend and I, both of us still studying, had our lives thrown into disarray. This miracle of life came at an inopportune time and I found myself crying every single day, feeling totally lost and afraid. I felt so helpless and knew only one solution, but guilt was eating me up from the inside as I always believed in the value of human life and wanted to be a young mother. Being tertiary students, the prospect of dropping out of school with limited finances between us made abortion seem like a simple solution to end our problem. Even then, this solution came at a cost we can barely afford. 

We kept our situation hidden from our parents and reached out to our close friends to raise the funds we needed to pay for the abortion. Of course our friends who were also studying, had the same financial constraints and in desperation my boyfriend confided in a close uncle, who instead of giving us money,  gave us Pregnancy Crisis & Support’s (PCS) hotline to seek help and even accompanied us to meet up with the befrienders, Nancy and Jeanette. Rather than guilt-trip us into keeping the child, Nancy and Jeanette helped us better understand our concerns, fears and options.

We felt a relief never experienced since I had gotten pregnant, and we made the decision to get married and go through the pregnancy.

Then came the fateful day when we broke the news to our families. Much like us, the news came as a shock to them, and they initially reacted with anger and rejection. I knew my mum was worried about my dad who was going through a major surgery, but my own worries and bodily changes made it hard for me to empathize with her. I reached out to Nancy and Jeanette to help ease the tense situation between me and my mum. Similarly, it was this safe space and listening ear that helped my mum to process her own emotions. Gradually, she begun to accept my pregnancy, and became more supportive of us. Our relationship also improved as we began to take steps to communicate and support one another.

Throughout the pregnancy, the befrienders would regularly check in on us and became a constant source of help and guidance for our family. They shared with us government schemes and financial aid to help us with our financial difficulties, and even visited us personally to donate items such as baby clothes, cot and toys. This eased us into preparing for the birth of our child, allowing us to fully embrace parenthood without the fear of material struggles.

My beautiful child is now months away from celebrating her second birthday. As I look at her, it frightens me to imagine how close I was to losing her. Till this day I am thankful for my experience with PCS and how Nancy and Jeanette had changed our lives. I will never forget how much they helped me and my family to walk out of that darkness into light and joy.  

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